Brundlefly-with-tits Jodie Marsh has a good record of provoking the gag reflex in people over the years, but her latest outburst comes complete with an image that may see you spewing chunks like a Winalot factory - the thought of her shacking up with zeppelin-in-suit John Prescott.

Staggering out of a party last night with that photo-opportunity-girlfriend whose name we frankly can't be arsed remembering, Jodie decided to take things up a notch on the hideous scale. Having recently starred in a TV show with the former Deputy PM, she blurted the following to the assembled paps:

 

"John was a great shag. A really good shag."

 

A joke, obviously - much like the entirety of Jodie's career - but that hasn't stopped the damage being done. Experts believe that the rogue nightmarish image of Jodie and John going at it like the Pilsbury Doughboy boning a Ronseal-coated Terrahawk may have infected the imaginations of several million worldwide.

 

Surely the only way to remedy the situation is for Jodie to turn things around; to pull things back in her favour by conducting herself with her usual class and grace. Y'know, like marrying someone purely for a reality TV show, declaring that she wants to collect everyone's sperm, and going home every night to look in the mirror to see her beak-centered face and - in a moment of rare self-realisation - weep tragic tears until dawn.

 

To be fair, that last one's just more of an assumption, really.

 

by CJ