Once upon a time, moon-faced Princess of Darkness Kelly Osbourne faced a future peppered with mediocre pop releases and a brief yet remarkably slimming stint in 'Chicago'. Then along came skinny, no-mark model Luke Worrall and BAM! Love strikes, and the ball and chain reportedly beckons after a mere six months together.

As per, we all benefit from a mole in their circle shooting their gob off, this time to the surely not very high paying Now magazine:

 

"Kelly and Luke have made it clear that they adore each other, so it was no surprise. They've been considering marriage for a while and are very serious about wanting to spend their lives together."

 

We never thought we'd see the day when someone wanted to permanently shack up with the most repellently sulky face in show business. We always presumed it would be a combination of sedatives and a fat cheque that got Osbourne married off. But given that Worrall is barely out of nappies at the age of 19, we expect he'll grow up and snap out of it any day now.

 

In the meantime, the pair have apparently announced their intentions on Facebook. Aaah. Isn't love grand? You just know it's forever when your social network profile is completely at odds with your own feverish denials of impending nuptials to the press, which is exactly what that big old Osbourne mouth was doing back in September.

 

We smell a fish. And it's not coming from the fat girl's gusset.

 

by Lou Lou