There are few things more sickening than celebrities parading their 'great friendship' in what amounts to mutual masturbation with added paparazzi. The most consistent offenders of recent months have been Oasis and boxer Ricky Hatton.

To kick it all off, Hatton introduced the band on stage at Liverpool last month when they began their UK tour. Now Liam and Noel Gallagher will carry Hatton's boxing belts into the ring when he gets paid to thump another man in public in Las Vegas this Saturday.

Firstly there is the towering self-indulgence involved here, with the Gallaghers deluding themselves that the crowd will actually care - and should be grateful - that they are there and drawing attention to themselves like flashers with mop tops.

But there is something more deep-rooted going on here. The Gallaghers like to proclaim they are 'hard as nails' and 'tasty' in a ruck, but when it comes to the crunch they are like little baby sparrows trying to square up to a hammer in a drunk man's hand.

Need evidence? There was Noel being pushed off stage in Canada in September and crying like a baby with nappy rash. Then there was Liam losing two teeth when he thought he could take on some stocky Italian gentlemen in a hotel in Munch in 2002. On and on it goes.

They clearly want to achieve 'hardness' vicariously rather than proving their pugilistic skills. So what better way that to pal up with a boxer? It still doesn't disguise from the immutable truth - the Gallaghers remain as soft as diluted shite.

by HorseWorm