West is looking for a new partner after his split from fiancée Alexis Phifer in April, and he's not sounding at all positive (or interesting) about the whole love scenario.

"Most of my relationships haven't been good. Maybe it's about not being able to tell who's the right person to be in your life and not knowing when to cut them off, allowing to suck energy from you constantly."

Just reading that made me feel like I'd had most of my energy sucked from me. Tedium is a powerful weapon, after all. Anyway, all you ladies out there - this is what you've been waiting for - a precise list of attributes that Kanye would like from a woman (though he neglects to mention 'fawning' and 'total adoration').

"The thing I want in women comes with so much other stuff that is hard to deal with. There are so many pretty girls that are so insecure, I wish I could find that balance, just a woman that excites me enough intellectually and physically and emotionally supportive-wise and still have a mind of her own, and can really stand on her own too - financially and emotionally."

Kerry Katona - get your coat, you've pulled! No, there is an ideal partner that would keep Kanye happy and fulfilled for the rest of his life. It won't answer back but it will be there and show of his best qualities without getting in the way. It's a mirror. Like a big budgie, that's all he needs.

by Ian McShane