In a massive surprise move Michael Jackson and his legal team have decided to settle out of court in the battle with Sheikh Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa. The Sheikh was demanding repayment of seven million dollars after paying Jackson's legal costs for his child molestation trial, various loans and personal injury after Jackson failed to record a new album which would have included some songs written by the Sheikh himself (not that he has a massive ego or anything…).

Jackson settling out of court to avoid testifying - who could have seen this coming? Well, Jordy Chandler might have hazarded a guess. Jackson was preparing to board a flight to London for the court case when news came through that a settlement had been reached. This was a huge relief for Jackson, whose false nose and chin would have had to spend a minimum of six months in quarantine.

 

Celina Aponte has the unenviable job of being Michael Jackson's spokesperson, a position where the most used phrase must be "What I think Michael was trying to say was...", and spoke to the press thusly...

 

"As Mr Jackson was about to board his plane to London, he was advised by his legal team to postpone his travels since the parties had concluded a settlement in principle,"

 

So now all Jackson needs is some vain and massively wealthy backer to finance the payoff to his previous vain and massively wealthy backer. The next series of 'Dragons' Den' should be interesting...

 

by Ian McShane