Now whatever you say about Jordan, you can accuse her having the wool pulled over her eyes. No siree, not on this evidence. The former 32G bust glamour model and contestant on 'I'm A Celebrity' thinks that 32G bust glamour model and 'I'm A Celebrity' contestant Nicola McLean might be copying her. Someone contact MENSA...

Speaking about model Nicola, who's been flashing her boobs and her less-than-stellar intellect in the jungle for the last two weeks, Jordan said: "It's amazing how many of my friends have been ringing me up saying she's trying to be like me - the next Jordan.

"It's like she's been studying old re-runs of the series I was in, and mimicking my behaviour. It's uncanny."

Yes, it's almost as if Nicola thought - talk rubbish + wear bikini + shower + talk about breasts = millions of pounds for no discernible reason.

Uncanny!

Jordan, who met husband Peter Andre on the show in 2004, added: "I suppose it's flattering but it's obvious she's got a game plan and is being pretty devious. I don't like her."

Which is pretty much saying: "I hate myself!". Somebody contact Mr Freud.

She added: "What next? A glossy magazine shoot and her own range of clothing? It's so predictable."

So predictable. It's almost as if 'I'm A Celebrity' producers deliberately peopled their show with well-focussed-grouped stereotypes each series to maximise viewing figures.

Oh...

by Rory K