As the Elizabeth Taylor of the Bland Generation, sexless 'sex symbol' Sienna Miller has carved out an amazing acting career for herself, appearing in some films that people with eyes and brains have neither seen nor care about.

Thus she finds herself at a career crossroads. She is 'known' for being an actress but no one will watch her films - although her celebrity stock is high. So what does she do? She leans heavily into the Great Movie Cliché - get your sort-of-famous boyfriend to star with you in some shoddy fame-thirsty cinematic vehicle and hope for the best.

So it has come to pass that Sienna and her bloke, Balthazar Getty (not so much an actor as a Scrabble move), are hoping to work on a film together. But what's this? They don't have a script (they're 'looking' for one), but they just love the idea of working together.

They will inevitably sell this as some incredible collision of talent but it is the lowest form of spotlight-prostitution that anyone can stoop to and the result will no doubt be little more than a 90-minute shot of two turds bobbling listlessly in a broken toilet bowl.

A source said: "Sienna insists it could be movie gold."

'Gold' is one Christmas-related word you could use to describe it. 'Turkey' is a better one.

by HorseWorm