How can we best describe Paris Hilton? Renaissance woman (she's certainly a witch)? Singer? Porn star? TV presenter? Actress? Well there's one four-letter word that sums her up perfectly (and it rhymes with 'James Blunt') but Paris has decided to focus her one good eye on the occupation 'singer/songwriter' and may God help us all.

Paris took the brave step of naming her first single 'Stars Are Blind' though that's only half-right in her case. That single, and subsequent album 'Paris' were released to rapturous silence and had the good grace to slink away and hang around bargain bins until they gratefully succumbed to the landfill.

 

Major record labels appear to be scrambling over each other to get as far away as possible from the new record as though it were a cursed monkey's paw. The album therefore will be released by 'Heiress' records (no prizes for guessing who is the owner and only staff member of this company). Paris originally set up the label in 2004 to release her records through Warner Brothers, but they ran off crying and holding their ears after the first album's release.

 

Paris has already showcased the magnificent song 'BFF (Best Friends Forever)' which contains the plaintive lines...

 

"Could you be the one I want? Could you be the one I need? All of my life, don't you know I've been waiting... for my best friend."

 

That's beautiful, but probably written about her Chihuahua. Now Paris claims the new album will see her musical style take a new direction.

 

"I was really inspired by Kylie Minogue. I wrote every song on the record. It is a very personal album. My last album was very hip-hop... this is completely different."

 

Hip-hop or chip-shop? This new direction will hopefully mean she'll be singing notes in tune and using a human voice rather than the sound of a dentist's drill.

 

by Ian McShane