Last week Paris, still smarting from being publicly dumped by Benji Madden (himself so dull that he cannot reflect light) was consoling herself in the private dining area of Saam restaurant in LA, while Brittany sat idly by glancing at her watch and waiting for midnight to roll around so she could go and see her real mates.

Unfortunately, this was the night of Christina Aguilera's 28th birthday party, and Christina had booked the VIP spot in Saam for herself and her friends. The New York Post revealed in gloating terms that Paris was informed of the situation and left in no doubt that she was not invited to the private function.

"Christina was with hubby Jordan Bratman, Nicole Richie and Joel and Benji Madden. Paris wasn't invited and left shortly before they arrived so she wouldn't have to see Benji or be asked to leave the private area for Christina."

Damn those people, famous for something other than being famous (apart from Nicole Richie, obviously) and their longer-lasting appeal. Still, how smug must Benji have been? And Christina? And everyone in the area who wasn't Paris Hilton? Presumably this also gave Brittany the excuse to get away as well, leaving Paris to go home alone and play with her Chihuahua. And yes, that IS a euphemism.

by Ian McShane