You can practically hear the second hand counting down in the background as Lily Allen liberally sprays her usual faux controversial rubbish around the media in the run up to the not-at-all-anticipated release of her second album, 'It's Not Me, It's You', next month. This time, blabbermouth takes on the subject of cocaine, claiming the people sesationalise it by making out that it will make you a dealer, prostitute or rapist…

Now, we haven't read the Daily Hate recently, but not even they would claim it turns you into a rapist would they?

 

Lily told Word magazine: "The only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you - you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that's not true.

 

"I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work. But we never hear that side of the story. I wish people wouldn't sensationalise it. Some people are just bad at taking drugs."

 

With the sort of verbal Lily Allen has, can you imagine what an absolute fucking dick she'd be on coke. It's not worth thinking about.

 

And it seems that the PR machine has scored another victory as shadow home secretary Dominic Grieve has steamed in to call her comments "naïve".

 

"There is no doubt that drugs fuel crime and wreck lives," he said.

 

"It's naïve to assume there isn't human misery and suffering associated with every drug transaction somewhere along the line."

 

(Opposition politicians need publicity just as much as pop stars you see.)

 

And while Lily's controls were set to 'rant' she thought she'd turn her attention to her label, EMI.

 

She added: "I got £50,000 for my first album and I sold a lot of records. Twenty years ago, I'd have been booked in at the Ritz with five grams of cocaine on my table and 10 bunches of flowers. Some new clothes. A chauffeur on 24-hour call. Now I'm lucky to get an Oyster card. I ask for a hotel in Paris and I get a two-star place in the eighth arrondissement on my own.

 

"I'm like: 'Do you want me to get raped and killed?'"

 

Now, we're sure you'll all mature enough not to answer that...

 

by Rory K