Everyone on this planet who has said a mean or disparaging remark against Lindsay Lohan (i.e. everyone on this planet) should bow their head in shame, because it means the neediest are suffering. The media are stopping Lindsay from doing useful charity work with their constant sniping you see, and if it wasn't for all the press attention and jibes she'd be off feeding starving children and giving bed baths to HIV sufferers.

No, really.

 

Lindsay tearfully confessed to Interview magazine how frustrated she was at not being able to show this caring side lest it be dubbed a publicity stunt, and how she'd love to nurse the ill but at present has to resort to nursing a daiquiri whilst falling about in LA nightclubs. Frustrating, eh?

 

"You know what's hard? I want to give back. I want to do all the things that will make me feel fulfilled. But whenever I do those things, people think it's a press stunt or something. Because they (paparazzi) do find me, and there's really no way of hiding from that."

 

Well surely she should complain about being unable to demonstrate that she's the Mother Teresa of Los Angeles? Oh, wait…

 

"And the second that you complain about it, they say, 'Well, this is what you wanted, so this is what you're going to get.' That's all people see it as now. It's not, 'No, I just want to have some time for myself.' There are things I want to do, and people don't understand that."

 

She doesn't want some time for herself you see, she wants to help others! So let's all ignore Lindsay and allow her to get on with delivering care to those in need for the rest of her days. After all, there's no way she'd go running to the press after ten minutes screaming 'Why is everyone ignoring me?' and moaning about her father, is there?

 

Cry me a fucking river love.

 

By Ian McShane