X Factor warbler Diana Vickers gets attacked on stage. Eggnog Quig must be chief suspect. Or maybe it was just someone with working ears.

As the nation prepares itself for the X Factor juggernaut to rumble through their town with Deadwife riding shotgun and Crackmum driving, take a moment to reflect on Diana Vickers' (The nation's true sweetheart) close call with death last weekend.

 

Whilst doing a "warm up show" in Salsbury (trans: Honking through Take That for 15 minutes in exchange for £1000 and a tray of limp sandwiches) the stage was invaded by a mystery punter. Chaos ensued and the crowd actually put down their mobile phones for long enough to boo Diana for leaving the stage. Give you a clue, a 37stone bouncer grabbed her - she shat her pants.

 

 

Police are looking for likely suspects... erm...