Scientists have been working in labs for years to see if they can discover a single reason why anyone could possibly like Sharon Osbourne. They remain staring at a blank sheet of paper. So it's really no surprise that the latest thing she's opened her turd-spluttering mouth about should fail to cast her in a positive light.

Sharon, who left the X Factor after the 2007 final, has accused fellow judge Dannii Minogue of only being on the show because she wanted to sleep with Simon Cowell. Dannii was the winning judge in 2007. Dannii is 37. Sharon was not the winning judge in 2007. Sharon is 56. Just saying, like.

 

Sharon also had a go at Dannii's plastic surgery, describing it as "appalling". This was a bit rich coming from someone who paid surgeons money to make her look like a composite of every single character from The Wizard Of Oz (The Wizened Of Ozzy, more like).

 

She is famous for sending the writers of negative reviews about her a turd in a box.

 

So our advice to Dannii is this: go into any supermarket near you. They have hundreds of cardboard boxes out the back.

 

by HorseWorm