Russell Brand's two ladies turned down a threesome

The two girls in question have been named by The Sun as Lisa O'Connor and Stevie-Louise Ritchie (which if it isn't the UK equivalent of a trailer trash name we don't know what is) and guess what? They're topless models.

Stevie-Louise, in the blue swimming costume so tight the camel toe was practically stamping on the camera, said: "Russell took his clothes off as soon as we got through his front door. He was definitely wanting a threesome — and he thought he was going to get one."

Lisa added: "He was dancing around in his tight white pants.

"He wanted us to get in the hot tub but we said no because it was freezing outside. He kept asking us to stay, saying he wanted to show us his bedroom. But we left as we had a photoshoot to get to in the morning."

They said no because it was freezing outside? Didn't stop them dressing like it was Spring Break in Miami.

Brand apparently said (not having prepared it in any way): "Those women were at Brand Towers as they assured me they were qualified engineers and could fix my washing machine.

"I only took my clothes off 'cos I wanted to bung a load in. The washing machine is still broke but my clothes are remarkably unstained."

If you want some stain action, Russell, we're sure Voluptura will give you another go for the publicity

And if you want to know what sort of photoshoot they were going to, it was probably a bit like this one.

And this one.

Well done, girls, you must have at least doubled your fees with this.

Pics from the other night here.