"Fuck the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and, for a second, your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I'm trying to do? I'm a good person and I'm trying to put good things into the world.

Quite right. What more could multi-millionairess and Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth do in order for people to just accept that she is better than them? Why can't they just listen to her world view and take her advice on making the world a much better place by only buying the most expensive ingredients for food - in the middle of the world's biggest recession for years?

In attempting to sound like she still has some grip on youth and reality, Gwyneth continues,

I'm probably less square than people think. I never get drunk to the point of throwing up. But I get very talkative. Man, I wish smoking didn't kill you. I'd be smoking right now. I miss it."

If I were married to Chris Martin I'd almost certainly be smoking. It'd be the end of a hosepipe running into my car window and connected to the exhaust pipe. So there you have it - Gwyneth is a talkative do-gooder who chats a lot and will always remain in control, even when drunk. What a catch. No wonder Chris is always grinning as wide as his cat's bum mouth can manage.