When the world is confused about a certain issue our thoughts naturally turn to those experts that might help. Who better to comment on global warming than Leonardo DiCaprio? Who is more qualified to talk about famine than Bono, a multi-millionaire pop star who once spent thousands having his hat flown first class to a concert? And as for the global recession, surely the opinion of Tom Hanks is the only one that counts?

Tom, no stranger to fiscal policy now that he commands around $20m per gut-wrenching film, decided to air his important views on finance whilst sitting on a raft and shouting at a ball with a face painted upon it. Or Hollyscoop.com. It was one of the two, anyway.

 

"We are trying to do our part to get by. We are the luckiest people in the world. There are the people in your community who are struggling and everybody is trying to get by," said Tom, whose greatest struggle appears to be keeping that shit-eating grin off his face as he counts the millions in the bank.

 

It's clear that Tom can still feel the pain of the little man. After all, he employs a few to keep his garden and swimming pool looking nice.

 

"And when your local bookstore, sporting good store, and your local restaurants are starting to shut down and are unable to make their rent that's when you know the economy has to change."

 

Thank God there's someone to point such things out. You see, small businesses going out of business has a bad effect on local communities. Financial academics around the globe will be slapping their foreheads and going 'Of course! We've been such fools!' at the news.

 

Next week : Tom explains why Iran's escalating and aggressive nuclear development process is like a box of chocolates.