Spoiled irritant Peaches Geldof 'marries' a woman. She's 'kerazy'

Peaches Girl-dof

Mon, 09/03/2009 - 00:00 by chrisns

Pony-faced money-siphon Peaches Geldof is a force of nature and she just won't live by your square rules, daddy-o. No way. If she wants to get married to a no-mark drummer in a no-mark band for six months, she will. And if she wants to launch a magazine so bad it makes the dead die all over again from laughter, you can't stop her. Your stupid 'civilian' brain just can't comprehend the complexities that go into being Peaches Geldof.

Hilariously, uproariously and taboo-bustingly, Peaches has claimed to have got married to her 'DJ' partner Fifi Brown. That's Fifi, as in a GIRL, just like Peaches is a GIRL, so that means two GIRLS have got 'MARRIED'. Have your preconceptions just blown up in your face? Are you now questioning the very rules by which you have lived your life so far? Peaches can do that to a person.

Except it's all a load of old musty arse as the two of them have posed together on their Facebook and Twitter pages under the caption of "Just married", which the papers have run without even having the grace to put a gratuitous boot in and call Peaches a mooning, needy idiot who is exactly 1% as erudite and cultured as she believes herself to be.

Our number 1 wish for 2009 is that Peaches Geldof actually, really, literally fucks right off.