The Shit Hits The Fan
Fri, 13/03/2009 - 00:00 by chrisns
Oh no! Crazy old Joaquin Phoenix is acting all crazy again, with his crazy hair and crazy beard and his oh-so-crazy behaviour! This guy's crazy! The hare-lipped sweat magnet continues to tour his personal brand of hip-hop around the US, and people keep on going to see him make an utter idiot of himself, perhaps because they're hoping that this will be the night he commits suicide onstage.

On Wednesday night the Phoenix roadshow rolled into the salubrious settings of the LIV nightclub in Fontainebleau, Miami. All seemed normal, apart from Phoenix's stage dress of a business suit and tie, hardly the usual attire worn by a member of the hip-hop elite (though to be fair there aren't many of them currently sporting Grizzly Adams beards either). Sadly, a heckler/plant was allowed in and ridiculed Joaquin, leading him to come up with the witty response,

 

"I've got millions of dollars in my fucking bank account. What do you got, bitch?"

 

After describing the man as 'a fucking asshole' Phoenix then jumped into the crowd and started to fight with the heckler/plant before being dragged away by security men.

 

Now, you won't believe this but Phoenix's friend Casey Affleck was there and managed to film the whole thing. That's the same Casey Affleck who has managed to film every single chaotic breakdown that Phoenix has pulled in the last few months, but it's sheer co-incidence, you understand?

 

Not that this is all footage for a feature-film length prank at all. There's little doubt that Phoenix is pretending to be mentally ill and that this is all a massive (and incredibly unfunny) joke. The clinching evidence was his appearance on the David Letterman show, where Joaquin tried to appear edgy and semi-comatose, but the problem is - we've seen your films, Joaquin and you can't act for fucking toffee.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa80rrhnlJY&eurl

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