The Girl With The Poor Chestlings
Tue, 07/04/2009 - 23:00 by chrisns
It is reported that Scarlett Johansson has lost 15 pounds by hooking up with 'Trainer to the Stars' Tracy Anderson, the woman responsible for making Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna look like washed-out skeletons with gristle reluctantly clinging to their joints.

Anderson demands that her clients eat a lunch of two hard-boiled eggs, a saucer of baby carrots and half a cup of cherry tomatoes. I've no idea if this promotes weight loss but the resulting gas would certainly result in the loss of any friends.

 

Since Scarlett was confirmed as being on board with 'Iron Man II' she is now in regular contact with Gwyneth, so don't be expecting the situation regarding her weight to be improving at any time soon (or her to be using shampoo, as it gives you cancer, doesn't it?).

 

It might be significant that Scarlett has recently dyed her hair brown (perhaps so she isn't totally see-through) and her once fabulous figure is now shrinking down to the usual Hollywood scarecrow look, with her breasts being a shadow of their former magnificent selves. As though the world needed another reason to dislike Gwyneth Paltrow.

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