There once was a wise old man named Ridley Scott. Ridley lived for many years on a plot of land of which he was very proud. Many creatures inhabited his plot, one of whom was a slightly annoying crow called Russell, who in his old age was beginning to look quite a lot like Neil Fox. Ridley had grown fond of the crow over the years and allowed him to roam freely through the plot without direction.

Ridley was an ambitious man and covered the plot with seeds, despite the fact that the ground was old and barren. Many visitors to the plot asked Ridley why he insisted on covering old ground, especially when the same ground has been covered so many times before, but he remained mysteriously silent. The crow, who himself was familiar with the concept of covering old ground, continued to happily frolic in the infertile plot.

 

Adjacent to the plot, Ridley also developed several smaller plots. Although he recognised the value of these 'subplots', he spent little time in them, preferring instead to wallow in the repetitive duties of his main plot. Eventually his subplots became empty and redundant, and Ridley was forced to focus all of his efforts on the sole remaining plot.

After what felt like a lifetime of toil in the plot, but was in fact only 128 minutes, Ridley concluded his work. His plot undeniably had its virtues, but unfortunately his hopes of conveying a message to the visitors of his land were unfulfilled. On the most part, they preferred 'American Gangster'.

 

by Charlie Lyne