In this year's I'm A Celebrity the show's producers have decided the best way to pull audiences in is not with the promise of blossoming romance (we can still never forgive them for Price and Andre) or the chance to see your favourite light entertainer/Brookside cast member cry vomit after eating kangaroo tumours, no, it's the possibility of watching a sexagenarian collapse in a heap of leathery skin and calcium deficient bones whilst wading through a five foot deep pool of stagnant human shit.

Luckily though, it's only the first weekend of the series so no-one's died in turds just yet, although Freddie Starr did go missing (presumed dead) for a while. Fortunately they found him and now he's been shipped into the jungle with the rest of the contestants. Unfortunately, Fatima Whitbread took the first possible opportunity to strip down to her bikini and start lifting logs. Truly terrifying.

The teams are Freddie Starr, Willie Carson, Stefanie Powers, Jessica Jane Clement and Dougie Poynter in the Blue team and Lorraine Chase, Crissy Rock, Antony Cotton, Fatima Whitbread and Mark Wright in the Yellow team. Freddie and Mark are the first two up for a Bushtucker trial, voted for by the adoring public.

Also, in other important news, we've heard that Pat Sharpe and Sinitta are going in midweek.