Well, the big X Factor twist turned out to be sending loads of people home a week after they’d been told they were through. Which is very cruel and unnecessary. Letting the public shatter these people’s dreams on an individual weekly basis is only right and proper. We got up at the crack of dawn to meet Jonjo Kerr, 2 Shoes, Amelia Lily and James Michael on the morning after the night they were booted out of X Factor 2011 forever…

They were in surprisingly high spirits. Which is more than you can say for us. The office lost a tidy sum betting on 2 Shoes for the win. We can only hope The Risk have an accident. No, that would be terrible. But with a name like that they probably can’t get insurance.

WARNING: Contains quite a lot of swearing and several bad impressions