The X Factor grips the nation like the World Champion of wanking grips his cock, defending his title and this year is no different.  No matter how much our eyes Sting, we continue to make up excuses to why we cant go to the pub on a Saturday night,  just so we can see which wanna be goes out of the competition (admittedly, all better performers than a certain multi million record selling, umbrella wielding, fanny flashing, unfit mother who uses UCLA's ambulances as a taxi service).   And like every year, the prime time show has raised some very important questions.

The two questions on everyones lips this year are, will Britney complete her comback without singing a single note and will Louis Walsh be back next year?

 

Despite pulling the same PR stunt before, seeing the introduction of Brian Friedman for a week, this year Louis seems to have dug himself quite a big hole in the Cowell graveyard.

 

We went to some charity bash where celebs painted stuff for auction and got the opinions of a few familiar faces.  Yes thats right, we spoke to Simon (from Trevor and Simon, remember?), John Hurt (the ugly one from that film about Elephants) and Irish funny man Dara O'Brien and boy, was he funny.

 

I dont ever want to hear that Holy Moy!  doesnt bring you the most cutting edge of celebrity opinion!