News this week, well not a lot but that doesn't stop us.

Tom Cruise is planning his new film venture, Cheryl Cole's moving her career to the states and the Oliver's have had another baby...and tarnished it with a ridiculous name. Standard.

So whilst supermarkets make a fortune from yet another commercially pillaged religious day and fat people get even fatter justifing it to themselves because "It's Easter, everyone eats chocolate at Easter", we went down to the launch of the new Red Dwarf show to see if we could get you some Good Friday Easter messages.

Oh and don't forget about Jesus.

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WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

• Ashley Cole back in the UK for frosty crisis talks with Cheryl Tweedy
• Ashley Cole back in the UK for frosty crisis talks with Cheryl Tweedy
• Ashley Cole seeking professional help, fails to gain sympathy
• Cheryl Cole heads to France for fifteen minutes with Ashley Cole
• Ashley Cole claims life is ruined, doesn't know who to blame